Random Stories, Conversations, E-mails, and Things I Like to Talk About.

Today’s Topic: Fender Benders

Yikes.

Have you ever been in a fender-bender?  I have had my fair share of them, and every time I question the way people act in those situations.  Sometimes I wonder why people are so angry.  Granted, paying a $500 deductible isn’t my idea of a good time.  However, people get so angry at each other that they start to act like the person at fault WANTED it to happen.  Car accidents are a pain for everyone involved.  It’s not something anyone wants to spend their day/week dealing with.  Here are some stories I found funny and interesting from friends – we’ve all been there.

“ANGRY FACE, ARMS UP, AND SWIFT HEAD SHAKING”

I was on a one-way street and pulled off to the left so I could parallel park.  The street was pretty short and I was near the tail-end of it.  A car came speeding around the corner just as I was about to back up and went to pass me and smashed into the back of my right side bumper.  My light was broken.  My bumper was screwed up.  I had three other people in the car, so I felt horrible, but also, I did my standard “checking in the mirror” so I was sure this wasn’t my fault.  I got out of the car to see a guy standing there eyeing his bumper and shaking his head.  I’m thinking, “Oh GREAT, this guy is going to cause a scene.”

So, we both check out our cars and I see parts of my car all over the street – I see nothing wrong with his car.  I ask, “Can you tell me what’s wrong with yours?”  He looks at me, obviously angry, and just puts his arms up like, “I don’t know” and shakes his head furiously at me.  So, I ask again, “Sir, can you tell me what’s wrong with your car?  Can you show me?”  Angry face, arms up, and swift head shaking again…no response.

Now I’m just annoyed.  Dude – I cannot read your mind.  He then proceeds to yell, “CALL THE COPS!”  I guarantee you the cops would have been there by that point if we hadn’t gone through the angry face, arms up, swift head shaking, silence routine about 9 times.

We end up going to the station, cops tell me it’s my fault no matter what because the person parking is always supposed to yield to drivers passing behind you.  That obviously bothered me because I don’t understand how different situations cannot effect the outcome, but whatever.  Needless to say, I had to pay $500 to get my car fixed.

About three months after the incident, I was going down a back alley (going about 2mph due to speed bumps) and guess who almost rammed into my car?  Yep…same guy.  I’m still annoyed to this day that I got blamed for the first incident.  He obviously has a driving problem!

“I THINK SHE WAS SPEEDING”

When I was in high school, we lived on a very wooded road. You literally had to inch out of your driveway to see if anyone was coming.

Unfortunately, when you were running late, which I often was, this was an inconvenience.

One particularly tardy morning I flew out the door, jumped in my car and peeled out of my driveway onto the road…pounding my neighbor, we’ll call her Maddy, into a phone pole.

When the police got there, the first thing I remember saying to them was, “I think she was speeding.”  Evil.

“THIS IS NOT AN OPTION”

I was with three friends in the car, I was driving, and I was exiting a Jewel. I was gabbing about something inconsequential at the time.  As I was exiting the Jewel parking lot, my friends in the passenger seat starts freaking out.  She’s gesturing wildly and trying to talk but can’t.  When she finally found the words she screamed, “This…is not an OPTION!”

During this time I’m taking a left turn when all of a sudden I actually look more closely and realize that I’m not only going through a red light but that a semi truck was so close to hitting the car. I slam on the gas pedal to get out of the way.  (I did, thank God). But for a moment I seriously saw that semi hitting the driver side of the car straight on.

I mean the whole “This is not an option” thing still makes me and my friends laugh to this day but it was still very freaky.  I’m quite an “adventurous” driver. I really need to be more careful.

“BOOTY CALL FAIL”

Home for the weekend in college and I go to the bar… come home and then decide to go see my booty call. I think it’s a good idea to hop in my mom’s car.  I make it only a mile from the house, miss my turn and decide to make a text book 3-point turn.

On point 2, I manage to bury the front end in a snow bank. It’s 3am- parents are sleeping, phone is dying (of course!), I’m drunk and I live in the boonies. I decide that I can totally dig/push myself out. FAIL.

Waist deep in a ditch filled with snow pushing on a Honda. Not happening… I see a van drive by.  My savior! Or a rapist… either way – he stops. It’s some random kid from high school. He tells me he has a rope and will pull the car out. He ties it to the hitch of each car and pulls. Not sure why either of us thought his rear wheel van would do anything but slide and ultimately end up snapping back and leaving a nice sized dent in my mom’s bumper.

Fantastic. It’s now 4am and I’m getting tired… make a final decision to call home. My mom answers and is quite alarmed as I should be at home in bed. I tell her that I am in a ditch… in her car.   She sighs and asks where… I get the honor of telling her “Around the corner!”.

I then have to explain that I was heading to Mike’s (booty call has a name). She tells me to hang tight… they’ll be there in a few minutes. An hour later I wake up (yes I passed out with the car running) to a tapping at the window. I look up, “Dad!”. I roll the window down… he glares and me and utters words I will never forget. “Next time, buy a f*cking vibrator and stay at home”. Parenting at it’s finest.